College, freshman year

High school graduation.  As parents, that is one of the main goals – to help your child graduate from high school and continue on to the freshman year of college.  2011 is the year that I can cross my daughter’s high school graduation off my list of accomplishments.

June 11, 2011 I witnessed my daughter walking across the stage to receive her high school diploma.  I saw the look of absolute joy on her face as she received her diploma and shake hands with the school administrator.  I remember the huge smile on her face as she walked past where I was sitting.  Yes, this day is a good day.

It was also a sad day.  As a single parent, it’s been just my daughter and I for the past 13 years.  Yes she did see her dad every other weekend, but for all intents and purposes, it’s been her and me.  I am fortunate, no, SO thankful that during these years, my daughter and I have been close.  To this day, she tells me pretty much everything.  I have no idea where this came from; I don’t remember being this close to my mom.  I can tell you that I did not tell my mom everything – to this day there are things I’ve done that no one in my family knows about.  My mom would roll over in her grave is she knew *laughing*.

Move in day came and went without too much drama.  Her dad was there and he even stayed long enough to put her futon together.  I was quite surprised.  He usually only thinks of himself, but he surprised me today.  I surprised myself this day.  I wasn’t a total basket case after leaving her at school.  Yes, I was sad and yes I was teary eyed, but I wasn’t the slobbering, crying fool I thought I was going to be.  I’m very proud of myself.  The house is way too quiet though.  I find myself with nothing but lots of time on my hands.  I’ve been cleaning a lot *laughing*  I can’t demolish my daughter’s room just yet, but I’m cleaning out her room little by little for things she hasn’t used.  There is a for sale to buy board at my work that I can post these things on.  Hopefully someone will need these things and I can get some money for them.  And while I’m on this cleaning and purging thing, I also went through my books and DVD’s.  I’m going to find new homes for them.

So.  My daughter’s freshman college classes officially started today.  She sent me a text this morning saying she hated it and wanted to come home.  I felt so bad.  All I wanted to do was to give her a hug and a kiss, but she’s an hour a way so I couldn’t.  But I did the next best thing.  I sent her a text back telling her that she’s a smart intelligent woman and she can do this.  I also reminded her that all college freshman feel this way.  I also told her that once she’s in her classes, she’ll meet people and things will get easier.  I just want this experience to be a positive one so she’ll stay in school.  I’m sending LOTS of positive vibes her way.

I am so looking forward to beginning the next stage of my life.  I’m also curious to see how the college experience shapes and molds my daughter.  I’m curious how our relationship will change from being a parent/child relationship to woman/woman relationship.  I pray that we can remain close throughout this transition time.

I have to say, I’m very proud of myself of the job I did in raising my daughter. And she is a bright, smart, funny, sweet, compassionate woman.  I love her so very much.

My daughter and I on her high school graduation day

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